This is a personal blog, nothing here should be confused as medical advice.

Journal – Day 4/5

Aug 25/26, 2020

Guide switch-up.

Last night in meditation, guides did indeed shift my workout plan. Although I was so exhausted from working out that the meditation itself ended up being a bit staticky… hence just one reason they wanted me to shift things.

This morning’s meditation, a guide said to me that I opened a different timeline, or portal, or however you want to label it, essentially an energy or opportunity that wasn’t available to me just last week before I made the big surrender on fitness.

Once I did, it’s like another door opened and now I have the chance to finally balance all the things I’ve wanted to do, and I don’t have to be ALL about workouts for the next four months.

That being said, this is like a tricky high wire act because, while I don’t have to be just doing workouts for four months, they still have to lead the way. So that block has to be in first, then the spiritual site and the fiction can be around it.

What that looks like for this week and next…

We’re dropping back to only Joel for the next two weeks because the guides want me to build more physical strength before I take on more workouts. Second change is that I’m dropping back to just one workout, every other day. This is giving me a chance to balance everything out, without being too fatigued or sore in the aftermath.

We’re taking it super slow. It’s a 2 week commitment, then we’ll revisit and see what tweaks we can make then. Honestly, I’m excited, but wary. I don’t want this to be a misstep, so I’m just going to keep carefully moving forward.

Fitness Vlog

Slaying vanity and ego… this vlog is raw, unedited, and completely, unbearably, vulnerable.

This is a personal blog, nothing here should be confused as medical advice.

workout Musings & Tracking

Below are just sort of my notes for how the workouts are going, and tracking how much weight I’m lifting.

Liift 4

Set 1:

  • Chest Press – 5 pounds – 30 reps
  • Skull Crushers – 5 pounds – 30 reps

Set 2:

  • Chest Fly – 5 pounds – 30 reps
  • Tricep Press – 5 pounds – 30 reps

Set 3:

  • Rotating Press – 5 pounds – 30 reps
  • Tricep Press – 5 pounds – 30 reps (should have been push-ups)

Hiit: 3 rounds of 3 exercises (I only did 2 rounds)

  • Soccer Step 45 seconds
  • Squats 30 seconds (should have been mountain climbers)
  • heel raise 15 seconds (should have been catchers)

Core: 3 rounds of 2 exercises

  • Rope Climb 30 seconds each round
  • Bent knee windshield wipers 30 seconds each round

overall Thoughts

I didn’t have to modify any of the lifting, I modified jumping jacks in the warm up to just a step touch with jumping jack arms. I modified mountain climbers to squats, and catchers to a heel raise for my calves, and I modified push-ups to more tricep presses.

I’m tired. I definitely gave it everything I had. Knowing this was my only workout, there was NO way I was going to take it easy. That wasn’t something I’d realized I’d been doing when I was doing multiple workouts each day. Honestly, I’d rather do one work out full-out, than a bunch half-assed.

So, one workout done and no workouts tomorrow.

It’s a work in progress, but the mind shift has occurred, so I’m in this to the end now.


Just for fun!


(serves 1 but can be easily doubled)

1 zucchini

2-3 tablespoons tomato or pizza sauce (use your favorite!)

1/2 cup mozzarella, grated

4-5 @applegate turkey pepperoni (I used a tiny cookie cutter to make minis, but they can be cut into strips or triangles if you don’t have one)

Chopped parsley for garnish

  1. Slice zucchini into 1/2-inch rounds.
  2. Top with sauce, mozzarella, and pepperoni.
  3. Bake at 400 F for ~10 minutes, or until cheese is melted and bubbly.
  4. Garnish with chopped parsley!

The Reason I do this

I’ve taken two trips to France.

Both were centered on Disneyland.

Both were very different experiences, mostly based on my health and fitness level.

The first trip, I’d just finished Liift4’s 8 week program, and while I was still very overweight, I was in the best shape of my life!

Trip two was after I’d been sick and in bed for nearly two months, leaving me in the worst shape of my life.

I never want to forget this, because while I loved both trips, the second trip, I didn’t go into Paris, I didn’t spend all day in the park, I had room service every night for dinner because I was too wiped out to go out for dinner.

Even in the hotel, I didn’t do anything. The first trip, I spent every night in the hotel bar… I know how it sounds – but I loved unwinding in the bar at night. I’d get a snack and a drink, I’d write in my journal and talk to my guides. I missed that from this trip. I also didn’t enjoy breakfast the same way because I was uncomfortable constantly.

Granted, some of the change in my attitude was that it wasn’t all new and unbelievable, but most of it was simply that I felt like crap. It took a full day to recover from the flight, too. Which meant I lost a day of Disney!

As we go into 2022, I know I want to travel and I have to remember how hard it was on that second trip, and I have to be in better shape than the first trip. I won’t cheat myself of this. And that, today, is why I’m doing this.