I’m writing this post as a bit of a confession, but more as a testimony to how I live my life and why.
I’m always talking about destiny and aligning your path because I believe in that. But in the deepest honesty, I’m not doing it in my own life at the moment and it’s causing ripples.
You see, my life runs pretty smoothly much of the time. It does so more and more the longer I’ve been doing this God stuff, aligning with the guides and all that. This is why I am so passionate about this aspect of life and being aligned with your truth. I love my life and I want everyone to feel that about their lives as well.
I come from chaos. My childhood was strange, my teen years were dotted with homelessness and hunger, my adult years I was married to a man with Asperger’s before we knew Asperger’s was a thing, so… chaos all the time. Then, of course, the life implosion of 2011 that made me ditch my old life and move to Orlando with a suitcase and $400.
Still, since then, as I’ve grown in God and my understanding of the spiritual and of astrology, my life continues to grow in harmony and beauty and I’m beside myself grateful for that.
However, last week, you may have seen some of my frustration leak out on FB. Peace was not my friend, chaos was reigning.
We had the hot water heater nearly catch fire, and were without hot water for nearly a week. There was a leak in my ceiling (we’re on the second floor and under a bedroom, yet still, there was a leak) that ended up with a hole in my ceiling, that ended up with drywall powder EVERYWHERE. Plus our wi-fi got cut off for a day because we were $30 short on the bill… and I won’t even get into groceries.
That kind of chaos doesn’t usually exist in my world, not even in 2020. So when it does, I need to do a full stop and check in with the guides.
I didn’t like what they said, and I haven’t liked a single day since. However, I do need to be honest about where I’m at.
Where I’m at is being so good about almost all my god stuff, and constantly running from my destiny stuff.
Many of you know I have this weird destiny on me to wake up a particular man, and then he and I have this thing we need to do that calms and heals the planet. It has to do with his music, sex, the Earth’s chakras, and codes that he and I each have half of.
And yes, I know how it sounds, but this has always been tied into the 2020 shift, and as more and more of that comes into play, completely unbelievably exactly as I’ve been shown, it makes it harder and harder to ignore this one part of my life that I try so very hard to ignore.
To “wake” him I’m supposed to wait for a particular planetary alignment that occurs pretty regular each year, and go see him, and make sure he sees me wearing a red dress. I’ve tried twice, and both times we saw the shift in him. It was huge and undeniable, but it wasn’t enough to wake him.
Guides say it’s because my body isn’t the right shape, and that’s causing an inconsistency in the vibration and not giving him the full jolt he needs to wake up.
Because of this, I use my weight as my leverage. My control over a destiny that scares the hell out of me because it supposedly ends in one of those fairytale happily ever afters that I have long since given up on. I don’t want to be hurt by a man ever again, so if I stay fat, no risk! Perfectly logical!
But if he and I fail the destiny that I believe we took on before we came here, that’s on me. Because I was scared of being humiliated or looking like an idiot, or getting my heart broken yet again.
I will hurt so many people if I don’t do this. There is an intricate plan in place, one that I believe myself to be one of the architects of, and one piece out of place will fuck it up entirely.
And right now, I’m that one piece.
I don’t like that about me right now, and this alignment occurs again in seven months. It’s one of the last alignments I have to make this work, so it truly is now or never on all this. Yet I still keep trying to run away and hope for an easier path to reveal itself.
I try to do all these other things to avoid it, like books, and livestreams, and blogs, and vlogs, plus I work… a LOT. And I avoid destiny… because I think it’s weird.
And last week God called me on it.
As soon as I stopped, the hot water got fixed, the hole in my ceiling was fixed, and money came in to fix the wi-fi and buy groceries and we’re back in flow again.
And so with all that, I’ve made a pact with my guides for sole focus for seven months on weight. In order to medicate all my panic, creative, and other needs that tend to lead me down false paths, they gifted me the entire Sims 4 game, all it’s expansions included so I can invest in that to help me focus and stop running.
The seven months will be intense, but smart. They’ve given me everything I need to pull it off. I’ll be working out, watching food, and playing Sims 4. Poor Amy is stuck being my personal chef and ass kicker. Pray for her, she’ll need it!
I have a strategy that grows with each month as I grow stronger, because right now, I’m so out of shape, I passed on going out to Disney Springs the other night because I just didn’t want to be miserable in my body.
We need to get the biggest shift possible in my physical strength and appearance during this, and the only way that works is if I surrender to this. So this post is a sign of my surrender. I still don’t like it. It still scares me. I still don’t want to.
But I DO surrender.
November, let’s double down.