Weight journeys are… complicated.
They are personal, and vulnerable, and scary.
Add to that, sharing it for anyone to see, and with the current environment out there, people can be so mean. Every time I write one of these, I wonder why I’m opening myself up for that, and the only thing I keep thinking is that we have to share our stories, our struggles, our journeys, because when we do that, we strengthen, comfort, and embolden others to keep going on theirs. And quite frankly, the world needs the light right now. So this journey is for all of us. I believe in me, but I believe in you, too. And that’s important.
So I went to SeaWorld yesterday and had a lovely time!
I went with Amy, of course, and another friend of ours who I met at the music at Disney Springs and haveve shared many a fun evening at the various bands. This day, though, we were with dolphins and it was delightful. If you have a membership with me at Buy Me A Coffee, I put up a photo album of our day.
Now, for the real stuff… it was hard, but not as bad as I’d feared. I was uncomfortable, mostly with the heat, and I did need to sit down twice. The second time I actually got pretty ill feeling, but I do think that was the heat. I forgot to bring a water bottle with me so I got dehydrated. Rookie mistake and I’m out of practice.
Since we went with my friend who has a car, I didn’t have to make the trek from bus stops, which is the main thing keeping me from going on a regular basis. So I just had to navigate the park itself.
By the time we’d activated our passes, gotten our “cards” from Guest Relations and spent a bit of time at the dolphin nursery watching the new baby, we hit Voyagers for lunch. I was glad because I already needed to sit.
It’s embarrassing to say that. By the time we went inside, Amy and our friend stood in the line and I went to get a table. I was glad that was the division of labor, because honestly, I’m not sure how I would have handled standing in the line. As it was, I went and found a table and did some prayer and energy work for a safe mealtime, and by the time my friends joined me, I was feeling human again and we enjoyed lunch.
I didn’t worry about food because my guides have given me a strict diet for inside the house, and told me to eat what I want when I’m out and not stress over it. So I had a Diet Coke and Amy and I shared a meal, splitting brisket, fries, and a dinner roll – without butter…
Not because I was counting calories, but because of the way utensils, ketchup, etc are being handed out right now, we couldn’t find any. lol
We sat for a little while then headed towards the dolphin show which was pretty much on the other side of the park from where we were eating.
I have to tell you, there was a part of me that totally wanted to say, y’all go on without me, I’m just gonna stay here and enjoy some time with my guides.
Which I totally could have, but it would have been a cop-out.
So off we went, and along the way we went through Antarctica and took a selfie.
We then traveled along to the dolphins. So another sitting break during the show. I can’t say I was desperate to sit at that point, but when we came out, Amy and Sue were thinking about going on the flume ride and I would have enjoyed sitting on a bench in the relaxation zone then, only because the heat and the mask was getting to me.
However, they decided against it, so instead, we headed to the aquarium near the entrance of the park. That was lovely and air conditioned, but again, I was already looking for benches, so when we meandered toward the rays, I found a bench while my friends went someplace else for a few.
As that side of the park was being shut down at 3, and it was 3, we turned around and went back to where we started our day, Voyager’s, or to be more specific, we found a table at Spice Mill. They’re closed indefinitely and the patio is in the shade with fans, right next to a “relaxation” zone so we could take off our masks and just sit for a bit.
This is where I took the turn, though.
We were close, but not there yet when I started to feel I was at my limit. Me being me, though, I ignored that and kept pushing. By the time we sat down I wasn’t feeling well and tried to deny it for a bit because I knew I needed water, but I also knew I wasn’t capable of getting it for myself.
That was defeating, but also meant I was going to need to ask someone else to go get me some and I hate that. It’s a level of helplessness that makes me crazy. But it’s also my truth of the moment and I promise to be entirely honest with you.
I finally asked and after Amy got me some water, I definitely started feeling better. We’d been in the park for about three hours then and had been planning to go see the orcas, they’re my favorite, but there was no way. I couldn’t make it there and I knew it.
I had to be practical. I still had to get to the car, then up the stairs at home.
So I told them I was ready to go and we left. By the time we got to the car, I wanted to die. But a stop on the way home, with another bottle of water, and I made it up the stairs okay.
Stairs are rough on my knees right now because my leg muscles are shot.
I got upstairs, changed clothes, and collapsed on my bed for more or less the rest of the night.
All in all, I feel really good about the day. On top of it just being nice to get out of the house for a while, it absolutely set the bar on where I’m at right now. I have to face the truth of this.
And now I need to fix it.
The journey continues.
Tomorrow I’m planning on cooking something for my oldest kid’s birthday. It’s been a long time since I’ve cooked. Again, it’s about standing in the kitchen, so we’ll see how that goes.
And on Monday I’ll be adding in regular workouts again.
That’s what’s up next! Blessed weekend – Samantha