I’ve studied my north node placement for years, but largely ignored my south node.
Let me tell you, that’s a bad idea.
You see, in astrology, your nodes rule your past and future. It’s believed that you can find your destiny in your North Node placement. While the South Node shows us what we are here to release. So North Node – Sexy. South Node – boring!
What I’ve come to better understand of late, is that the South Node shows you how to miss your destiny. In fact, I could now write a full book: Missing Destiny 101.
It was just after my birthday of this year, a year I had spent planning and plotting and fine tuning my dreams and my ambitions and was sure I had it all right… then I realized again, I was failing fast.
In my ensuing depression, I was compelled to much more fully study and understand both my north and south node placement, including the houses they’re in.
Houses, honestly, had always confounded me, but suddenly it was as if a blind had been raised on a window, the sun had risen and I could understand it all!
Problem though, was that I then went through a bit of a dark night of the soul. You see, I realized I’d been following my south node all my freaking life, not my north node.
Really, explains SO much.
However, I came through all that with a key to THE treasure chest of my entire life, but was a bit dazed by everything I’d been doing wrong. It was all of a sudden so clear. All the times I’d chosen my South Node over my North and it all hinged on what I was taught growing up. It was all resting in “being a good person”.
When I looked at my life through this lens, I couldn’t help but laugh because I was making the classic misstep. It’s like I’d been playing Wile E. Coyote to my own life when I should have been the road runner to life’s coyote and it was suddenly all so clear.
So what was my North and South Nodes and the mistake I’ve been making?
My North Node is in Taurus in the 5th house, while my South Node is in Scorpio in the 11th house.
At face value this meant, move towards home, romance, and beauty, and turn from the taboo, kinky sex, and manipulation.
Uh… ok. Done!
Sadly, it wasn’t that simple.
Yes, those things are represented by Taurus and Scorpio, but as I’m always telling people, astrology is complex and intricately layered. For me I had to dig into these with relation to the houses and the rulers of those houses and where those planets were in the rest of my chart and on and on.
The 11th house rules friendships, among other things, but this is the area I personally mess up in. I’m one of those people who just puts everyone else first.
What I learned is that anytime in life that I put my friends, and to a lesser degree, my reputation, before my own pleasure, before what makes me happy, I will fail.
That’s not to say, be a selfish prick, but there is a fine line of balance and I’d been crossing that line my entire life.
In astrology it’s said that your South Node placement is where you’ve got karma to clear. Meaning, I’ve done this before, ad nauseam. And I’d guess it hasn’t ever gone well for me.
So in this life, it’s written clearly in the stars… don’t do that!
Value my friends, yes, treasure them, but stop throwing my life under the bus for them and/or for what their opinions of me are. I have got to put myself in the lead spot in my life. Good advice for us all, but for me, if I don’t, I don’t reach my destiny.
The other block for me is that my destiny lies in my 5th house which is Leo ruled, the house of pleasure. It’s the one house on the zodiac that rules love affairs, romance, amusement parks, entertainment, creativity, being “extra”. It’s ALL the glitter… and I’m a very logical, checklist, workaholic… very Virgo actually which is traditionally 6th house.
Add to all this, my belief that SB and I have great destiny regarding the healing of this planet. I’ve been maniacal under the pressure to wake him, even though I knew the way I understood it wasn’t right. I couldn’t see what was right… until now.
What I learned through this new revelation in my chart was that I will never be able to wake him up and fulfill that destiny, without doing a full stop and reverse on my life on the whole.
This presented a definite problem for me as I begun to understand more fully, the direction my life was supposed to be going in.
My guides though have been teaching me how to use things like my Capricorn Moon and my Virgo Stellium, the things that push my need to be linear and logical to their breaking point, how to use them to support my 5th house destiny instead of letting them derail me.
It’s been a life altering journey and though it’s only been a short amount of time since this all happened, I can tell you, I’ve never felt more at peace within my own head. Life has a different flow to it. I still trip up, but I’m catching myself and making different choices in my life all across the board and it’s been liberating.
I’m literally having to turn the exact opposite direction from where I’ve been fighting so hard to go most of my life. In essence, I’ve been so sure of my win every time Acme delivered me another package of explosives.
I’m now having to reframe my entire life and in doing so, I’m realizing how hard I’ve fought the current of my life because of what I’d been taught was good and right.
So much of adult life, is undoing what we were taught by even the most well meaning of grown ups around us.
On the plus side, the road runner costume is lighter and fits better. More important, I’m finally going with the celestial current of my life. And that, my friends, is what they call powerful and exciting! *beep beep*